Emily is ONE!

Our sweet "Embug" is one! It's hard to believe. And I think every parent must feel this way on this huge milestone. It just seems like time flies, and it does! Especially when we look at the photos of her birth...I am just sure it happened yesterday!

When I think about the year we've had with Emily, it has contained some of the most joyful moments in my life! It has also had some of the most growth-giving as well. Parenthood is such an amazing gift, and SHE is the greatest gift we could ever imagine.

I love being her mommy, and I can tell you that her personality is seriously so stinkin' sweet! She has been a fabulous baby, and one thing we truly, truly know about her is she is tough! She falls and we definitely think, "Ooh, she's gonna cry..." and she doesn't. She just gets up and goes about her way.

She is walking!! And sometimes running! She is so mobile, loves to climb, and is also a cuddle-bug. Our morning times with her are some of our most cherished. Cuddling in our bed as we all take time to wake up. She is so, so sweet and precious!

She is "talking" more and more! It's more like "dada" and "mama" and the most adorable gibberish. She can also say "please" and "more" in sign language! She gives kisses (usually opened-mouth), and we play a game where she will give me a kiss, and then it's daddy's turn. This will go on for quite awhile...going back and forth! Emily loves other kids! When she is around them, she hugs them and generally just likes being around them; getting their attention, sharing, and interacting.

She understands the word "no." When she has something she knows she isn't supposed to, and we say, "No, no, Emily..." and she will just give whatever she has to you. She loves to explore, and she is very smart. She figured out how to open a child-proofed gate at Barb's, and she took an outlet cover right out of the outlet. So, we definitely have an inquisitive problem-solver, haha!

Overall, we just love her to pieces. She is our sweetie-pie, and we are so thankful for her precious life. Our hearts have grown so much, and I've heard before that you love them so much it hurts. You guys, this is so true with your children. We just love and adore her!

We had a birthday party, and we had a great time! It was a beautiful fall, October day, and we celebrated with park-playing, cake-eating, gifts, and being around those we love. A special thanks to my mom and Ellie who made the cake and cupcakes, and all of the family and friends who came out to celebrate. We are so thankful for each of you!!

We've had a whirlwind of a couple of weeks! Matt and I celebrated our anniversary on the 15th, Em's birthday on the 20th, and we leave early tomorrow morning for Chicago for her aunt Katie's wedding on the 25th! It will Em's first flight, and Matt and I's first time traveling with a baby (in and out of the womb). I am 25 weeks along, and so we will take it slow and have a great, great time! It will be a very fun adventure! I can't wait to celebrate with Matt's family, and spend some good quality time with them!

Below are some photos of her party! 

 

October 15

Today is October 15th. 

To many, this is an ordinary day. This year, it falls on a Wednesday. For Matt and I, this day means so much to us. So much.

This is the day, three years ago, that we joined together in marriage on a gorgeous Saturday on a ranch in Masonville, Colorado! It began an amazing journey that we are so grateful for...one that God has grown, changed, encouraged, and worked through. Our love grows each and every day as we learn the real meaning of marriage and what Biblical love is. Today, we celebrate our third wedding anniversary!

On this day as well, and something that we haven't shared publicly (although some may know), we also experienced loss on this day...

Two years ago, Matt and I experienced a heart-breaking miscarriage. It was not only one sweet baby, but we believe it to have been twin babies. I can't begin to explain the pain of this soul-shaking and unexpected experience. It is a grief that still affects us today, and a loss that we will never, ever forget. I think about them still and often...and it's almost like it happened yesterday.

We cremated them, and we named them Laine and Grace. We felt that Laine is representative of the path these two sweet babies paved for our future children. Grace was representative of God's grace in situations like these. We also knew that we needed to honor their sweet little lives by doing this; so incredibly challenging yet healing. We don't know the reasons my pregnancy couldn't continue, but God does, and His grace is what gently walked us through each and every mourning moment. We planted a tree and sprinkled their ashes in the mountains to honor them as well. One day, we will meet our precious babies in Heaven and we live with that hope and expectation...

October 15th is also Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day! To all the mothers and fathers who have experienced loss like this...know you are not alone, and that it doesn't have to be a private struggle. So many parents have walked through this, and it's important to know that your baby or babies will never be forgotten. We can and will always remember them.

Our due date for our sweet baby Emily Grace was October 15, too! When we went to the doctor and found out her due date was October 15 (one year after our miscarriage), I cried! I cried because in that very moment I knew that God's redemption was the reason. It is God's sweet plan of redemption that this date was her due date. During my entire pregnancy with her, we knew of the story God wants to tell of His love and character. He desires to redeem everything...every part of our heart and every part of our pain.

Emily didn't come on her "due date" but we didn't necessarily expect her to (babies normally don't). This day will always represent a story of our Father's plan. She is a precious, precious gift and she brings so, so much joy to us everyday! And her little sister will join us in February! 

He started a good work three years ago as we joined together in marriage and He continues the work through His redemption, no matter the circumstances...through immense pain and amazing joy!

October 15...a day in our lives that reveals a loving God who desires to redeem everything. His love is unfathomable. His intentionality is beyond comprehension. His healing is unmistakeable.

Thank you, Lord...for this day. For your story, your plan, and your sweet redemption. We will never forget the meaning of this day.

Our Sweetness

In all reality, I have desperately been wanting to write on this blog for quite some time now. I was SO good about posting Emily's monthly photos on here for...three months. And then I unintentionally stopped. This must be due to life happening...as it does in sweet, sweet ways.

I did want to post a recent photo of our Embug, and just share that she is such a joy. Her temperament is the sweetest, and her contentment (most of the time) elates us. She has learned to wave when we say "buh bye," stand up on the side of anything, and so many things that we notice daily.

Each month we say, this is our favorite...no...THIS stage is our favorite. I can guarantee this will continue just as it has.

Happy Mother's Day

On my first mother’s day with our sweet Emily, the most overwhelming feeling is one of thankfulness for the true gift our baby girl is. I am so amazed at what it has been like to be her mommy. I also want to acknowledge the courageous women who are yet to be mothers, and long to be with their whole hearts. And the courageous women who carried their babies in their womb, but who weren’t able to know them on earth. The mothers who have lost their daughter, and daughters who have lost their mothers. Each form of loss is painful, and I pray that in each situation, Jesus would meet you right where you are in the journey to and through motherhood.

I am amazed at motherhood, and the way it has shaped the very woman that I am.

For me, motherhood is…

…the way of giving life through and with our bodies. It’s worth every change our bodies encounter as we grow a life inside. It’s a humbling process, but one that you forget about when you look at the life God created in you. The pre-pregnancy body might take awhile. It’s OK. Really…it’s OK.

…the way you love your baby like you never imagined. It’s true when people say “I just didn’t know I could love so instantly.” And it’s true. When you grow life, give life, and see your baby…it’s a deep love that you feel with every cell of your being.

…the way you get out of bed in the middle of the night, and at first you’re tired…but the minute you see them, it’s all worth it. They are completely worth the sleepless nights. They need to be provided for, and it’s an honor to be there for them…no matter the hour. In a weird way, the sleepiness is oddly sweet.

...the way that in each new situation, you learn what it takes to be a mommy. The only true way is to learn by doing. But things like coffee dates, eating out, getting groceries, and cleaning the house...they all seem like true accomplishments when you have a baby. Balancing, timing, and planning is an art form.

…the ache you feel when you are away from your baby. Because they depend on you in so many ways, you’ve grown to love their dependency. You’ve grown to love the connection, and when you leave them…part of your heart stays as you go. It sounds crazy, but it’s such a real feeling.

…the joy your baby brings. Her eyes, her skin, her mouth, her ears, her voice….everything about her is precious. And when I think about how God created her with my husband and I, it is a true miracle.

…the way your entire life changes. At first, it may seem challenging to sacrifice certain things, but it is truly our God-given response to care for them at the cost of something else. Everything is now filtered through this new gift and responsibility. It’s incredible how it happens.

…the way we must learn to honor our spouses in new ways, even though our new baby demands a lot of time and energy. Our marriage is the most important relationship under our relationship with Jesus, and we must work to keep it alive and strong.

….the days we feel like it’s too much. It’s amazing and incredible, but there are still days of tears and struggles that can make us feel like we can’t keep up. Trust me, it’s real. I’ve learned to communicate what I need and ask for help on these days or weeks.

….it’s amazing to think of the love God has for each of His children. We love our baby girl more than we can ever describe or explain. He loves us more. He loves Emily more. The mere thought of it brings tears to my eyes. God’s love is unconditional, unending, and vast. How amazing…

Happy Mother’s Day!

Emily is Three Months Old!

And again, we can't believe our sweet baby girl is three months old! I wrote this poem today.

You're three months old today.

I'm sitting here holding you 

While you sleep soundly.

I absolutely love 

Being your mommy.

And I've grown in ways 

I never could've imagined.
As we cuddle together 

And I feel your sweet, little breath,
My heart is overwhelmed with a love 

I've never known.
It's true when people say that they can't imagine
Their life before their child came into the world.
And it's true.
Our lives are so full of joy 

Because of you.
I'll do anything for you.
And I'll always try to do my best 

To be the best mommy I know how to be.

You are an amazing gift to us.
And I cherish this time we have.
As we cuddle together 

And I feel your sweet, little breath,
My heart is overwhelmed with a love 

I've never known.
I love you, Emily.
Our sweet daughter.

Miss Emily is growing so, so much! She is completely holding her head. She has started squealing this week and she smiles so much! She is discovering her voice and sometimes she just sits and coos and coos. Sometimes, she even yells! It's pretty hilarious. Her personality is so sweet and she has a very content nature about her.

Matt and I cherish the time we have with her. I went back to work two weeks ago and as predicted, it was challenging. I miss her like crazy. I am very thankful for my job, but I miss our sweet girl. We are both adjusting pretty well and we love her sitter, Barb. She is happy staying with her during the days! Our transition has revealed a new season of exhaustion. Haha! No seriously, I have been working hard to stay awake until 8:30pm! Matt has been so helpful in the evenings and morning as we get out of the door! It's been fun discovering true teamwork with her and our new journey as parents! He such an amazing daddy and they love each other so much!

Happy 3 Months Sweet Girl!

Emily is Two Months Old!

It's incredible! Two months. 8 weeks. 67 days. 

Our baby is growing fast and every minute with her is precious! We adore her and we just love that everyday brings new things. She is smiling! She is cooing. She is developing her own adorable, sweet-natured, and content personality. She had her 2-month appointment and she is 10.8 pounds and 22 inches! She holds her head and is recognizing us more and more.

And...she is SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT! No kidding! The first night it happened, we thought it was a fluke. I appreciated every extra minute of sleep. But seriously, every night since she has slept for a six hour stretch, usually 7. I know that every baby is SO unique and who knows, it will probably be short-lived. But for now, she is a sleeping beauty and we will take it!

It's been a sad and challenging month in ways and our sweet girl has been the joy in the midst. My grandpa passed away and Matt was in a scary car accident. Through all things, we are thankful for God's comfort and protection.

This journey as new parents has been a gift in ways we would never imagine. I thank God for her and her sweetness everyday. Aw, I just love being her mommy! 

Emily is One Month Old!

I can't believe our baby girl is one month old already! They say it goes fast and that is SO true! Don't you love her face in her photo!? It's one of our favorites! Haha!

We love her to pieces and I am LOVING being home with her! She is starting to coo, is super alert and curious, and is developing her own little personality. We are beginning to learn her cries and what she likes and dislikes. For example, she just likes to be swaddled when it's time to sleep, otherwise she loves to be "free" to move her arms and legs and look around.

She really loves light. She stares towards the brightest light and is enamored with it. She is still in newborn sized clothes and diapers and probably weighs just over 8 pounds.

Her smell is so sweet and her eyes are so beautiful! They are dark blue! More and more, we can see that she has Matt's eyes and my chubby cheeks, lips, and chin. We are undecided about her nose still. And of course, she is still changing so much!

One month! Wow! What an incredible gift she is! We are so, so thankful!